Saturday, June 4, 2011

Episode 56 Waituna Lagoon flips and palm oil Lite Licks

Episode 56 Waituna Lagoon flips and palm oil Lite Licks

Waituna Lagoon being destroyed by "dairy" "nutrients" (read: cowshit from surrounding farms), "Dairy Free" icecream that sadly contains Palm Oil, talking about yourself on a radio show and Veganism according to Jordan Wyatt : "its about looking at yourself in the mirror" :-)

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Coexisting With Nonhuman Animals iTunes link

Hello and welcome to another episode of Coexisting With Nonhuman Animals.

This episode I'd like to cover three main topics, the pollution of New Zealand by "Dairy" farmers, "Dairy Free" icecream and my appearance on the radio show Animal Rights and Wrongs.

Like many billions of people around the world, I'm glad Roger Yates has resumed podcasting!  You can find his great show, On Human-Nonhuman Relations at

New Zealand relies on two industries, Animal Killing Inc, and "New Zealand, its only a convenient twenty hour flight from the developed nations" Tourism Co.

The two often cancel each other out, not many people come here to see other animals killed, not many people like buying products that destroy beautiful parts of the world.  I'll fit that in to my second story, with the cursed Palm Oil.

Is New Zealand really a wonderland of Nuclear Free, Woman Having The Vote Chicken Friendery?  Well, don't trust my completely honest opinion, because my gravity production machine isn't running at full capacity, i'm stuck here in velcro underwear, I cant podcast floating around the ceiling you know!

No, someone who's lived his whole life in the area is sketchy, instead trust this clip from our Mainstream Media!

We use the term "cash cow" for a reason, because theres lots of money to be had forcibly impregnating slave females, killing their useless, male children, enslaving the females… all to keep mothers milk flowing as long as possible… until she hits a certain age, gets "too old" aka, when she produces two percent less breast milk than the previous pregnancy, and has to be killed. 

Theres money to be made from all this, and Farmers, well, they're gonna keep milking it. 

I really think this story shows how we need to keep spokesholes honest, don't let them get away with talking cow effluent.  Its bloody cheap to make promises on national tv, "oh well, we at X take this issue very seriously, although we're not sure its our fault, maybe someone else is dumping all that dairy "nutrient" in world renowned wetlands 16.8 kilometers away from Vegan Jordan Wyatt's house…."

I should be clear, Awarua bay  is about 16.8KM away from my house, I'm using the geocaching app on my iPhone to show me a cache I've found, that particular glass jar hidden in a shrub is 16.8KM away from my house.  I've seen other distances that the Waituna Lagoon itself, part of Awarua, is about 40 kilometres away from Invercargill.

As Animal Rights activists, I don't think we should allow animal agriculture to get away with such non answers to straightforward questions, "do you, the head of Environment Southland, a government organization in charge of conservation, think there are too many dairy farms here in Southland, around our protected areas, which are being polluted by waste from these industries?"   With a non answer of "well… I errr… I think we can always do better and we are planning to do better and perhaps they could keep these animals away from their "free range" paddocks around beautiful lagoons where we go to kill other animals, and they could instead be kept inside facilities…which stops them pooping outside, because we keep animals inside buildings…."

Don't put up with their politically correct spin, call them out on this behavior, on what they say on television, in press releases, and most importantly, on what they DO.  Its easy enough, its important for Non Vegans to understand "dairy nutrients" means shit destroying our internationally renowned areas, and it even lets you swear a lot on your podcast.  Its a win win.

Environment Southland, the local body in charge of protecting our damn ENVIRONMENT of the region…. they cant speak out against this awful industry.  Its a bloody disgrace. 

In fact, its bullshit. 

I wanted to include some positive news, so I asked Chris Noaro, of the Wellington radio show Animal Rights and Wrongs to join me…to talk about… well, Vegan ice-cream, why not!  Well… maybe because it has Palm Oil in it…

I'm really glad that Chris joined me to talk about Vegan Ice Cream… although… its kinda NOT Vegan… I blame myself for this, is the Lite Licks brand of ice-cream made by Emerald Foods Dairy free, as in, no mothers milk from cows inside?  Yes.  Is it technically Vegan?  Yes, as in, it doesn't have any animal byproducts inside.  But it does kinda have one thing, "hydrogenated Palm Kernel Oil" … which for some reason only stood out in my mind AFTER I'd bought some… AFTER I'd had Chris on for a lovely chat… and I don't think a product containing palm kernel oil, hydrogenated or not, should be bought by Vegans. 

I'll include a link to the worlds number one source on facts, Wikipedia, in my shownotes.  Essentially, Palm Oil is most often grown in poorer nations, the Oil Palm, where beautiful forests are cut down for Oil Palm plantations, for a quick buck.  Slashing and burning the worlds forests, its a shame, all for this quick buck, bugger the consequences for the environment, for the animals previously living in the forest. 

Am I being "Vegan Police" by not wanting to buy products involving Palm Oil?  I don't think so.  I feel very angry at myself for somehow buying products containing it. 

Was the ice cream good?  Yes.  Would I recommend it?  No, I don't want to recommend products with Palm Oil inside.  I've changed the INVSOC "Vegan Products in Invercargill" page to reflect this, mentioning its not a great product to buy because of the Palm Oil inside.

Is this the end of the world?  No, theres still So Good Vanilla at my local New World supermarket, and if I feel like venturing to the other end of Invercargill?  Well, theres So Good Chocolate soy ice-cream there.  All are truly Vegan, neither contain Palm Oil.

I've sent an email to the maker of Lite Licks, Emerald Foods, it was polite, and explained how Non Vegan consumers ALSO were upset about Palm Oil, how Cadburys, the chocolate maker got in huge trouble, of how Greenpeace are currently bashing the Dairy industry for feeding the slave Cows palm kernel extract, or PKE, its the waste left over from Palm Oil harvesting, a cheap food for dairy cows apparently. 

I think theres a definite link between the Dairy industry frigging up New Zealand with all those "nutrients", and with Palm Oil frigging up rainforests overseas.  I want to be a part of neither operation.

I REALLY hope Lite Licks will be made truly Vegan, that the Palm Oil will be removed from future batches.  And if not?  Well, the Invercargill Vegan Society is proud to promote So Good ice cream, which is Palm Oil free.  Hey Chris, I'm sure you'll enjoy So Good's Chocolate ice-cream :-)  Thats what I'll recommend, that is, until someone explains to me "hey Jordan, Blood Of The Innocent isn't Vegan, and it comprises 76% of that ice cream you recommend". 

Thank you for listening to me for this long.  As a reward, more of me, ooh, and this time, I'm talking about myself EVEN MORE!  Hooray! 

I was a guest on the Wellington based radio show Animal Rights and Wrongs, I listen to the podcast version of the show.  One of the hosts Debra asked me to be on, to talk about the Invercargill Vegan Society, and Chicken Friends.  She had me at Chicken Friends!

I disagree with many of the shows Welfare Reform promoting guests, although I do enjoy some of their comments, its fun to mix in popular songs

I, Jordan Wyatt in no means endorse Women taking their tops off.  "Why you misogynistic male chauvinistic pig, you'd have us all wearing Burqas…", no no, and hey, watch your speciesism,
No top taking off and swirling in the air here, be it in the form of "activism for the animals" or otherwise, in my world, we'd all wear matching blue overalls, and swig Victory Gin, while wearing the red sash of the Junior Anti Sex League.

Also, I believe the guest was using common New Zealand slang, "chuck it in a river", as in chuck THEM, nonhuman animals, was not meant literally. 

I liked how Debra described me on the episode prior to my callin :-)

I like the idea of being a Vegan who promotes Veganism as being "no mucking around", I know Debra wasn't being serious or derogatory, I do like the image though, that Veganism is in some way more radical,  with Vegans who agree with larger cages etc being more "moderate", and Vegans who only want to promote Veganism being these supposedly militant jerks,

"Oh yes, I'll have the pickled pheasant please Jeeves, with a smidgen of Cavier….and be careful not to spill any on my wifes Mink coat"


And hey, I did get to call into the show.  I'll let you in on a little secret, it wasn't recorded on the Saturday, the Saturday morning greeting is a lie, I was using a CORDED TELEPHONE, remember those?, in the Chicken Shed, as our cordless telephones had some kind of weird buzzing on the line.  Or maybe thats how telephones always sound, I'm not sure.  So imagine me, sitting in a small building, finding the telephones cord barely long enough, straw on the ground, chicken poop, sorry, I mean Chicken Nutrients on the ground, the sun streaming in the windows, with my Chicken Friends outside, pretending to be atop the INVSOC marble tower, my secretary having just put the phone call through to my executive office:

Hey that music sounds familiar!

I've just gotten a nailgun at work, to compliment the table saw, angle grinder and testicle level bench vise, I'm EXTRA careful when I slam it shut…. I'm glad I wasn't listening to that ending while at work, "and according to Jordan Wyatt, Veganism is about looking at yourself in the mirror", that would have been too funny!  And I would have ended up with either a finger nailed to a workbench, a finger GROUND off,  a hand CUT off, or every mans worst fear, two exploded testicles.  Slamming that vice… it would be like taking a sledgehammer to an orange… 

<"looking at yourself in the mirror" shortened>

I'd like to thank Debra, Chris and Eric for letting me on their radio show to talk about Chicken Friends. 

And thank YOU for listening to myself talking about myself even longer than usual!

Thank you for listening to Coexisting With Nonhuman Animals.

You can find the script for this episode, as well as downloads for every episode of Coexisting With Nonhuman Animals at coexisting with nonhuman animals . co .nz

If you want to contact me, even just to say you listened, send an email to, or on Twitter, if you're one of the five people in the world still using it, j a y w o n t d a r t,  I'd appreciate it.

Thank you for listening.


Waituna Lagoon "dairy farmers" "providing some impact on water quality", aka frigging up New Zealands environment for a quick buck

Lite Licks "Dairy Free", "Vegan" but NOT "animal friendly" ice cream

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