Sunday, February 27, 2011

Episode 48 The Chicken Friend Redemption

Episode 48 The Chicken Friend Redemption

Chickens :"battery", "colony", "no cages" or Friends.  Wild Foods Festivals, The Big Bang Theory, No Agenda Vegan's in Residence, Quotes on Slavery and The Shawshank Redemption.

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Hello and welcome to another great episode of Coexisting With Nonhuman Animals.

This episode, another protest about Hens being kept in cages, No Agenda and The Big Bang Theory, no, not where a 23 year old Invercargill woodworker explains the origins of life, but that American tv show which is somewhat hard to watch on NZ tv, especially if you boycott the medium of television, but fairly easy to download through bit torrent.

Heres a fun mention of Veganism, on comedian Lewis Black, you might remember him from The Daily Show, the loud cranky guy who always screams at the camera, well, heres a clip from his latest album.

Its always great to hear Veganism mentioned by mainstream celebrities, although we cant all rely on Famous Vegan People to give us all baked potatoes.  Rather than caring about which porn stars are Vegan, or which B grade celebrities would rather have a nude photo taken than wear so called "fur", only to put their skin shoes on, if we promote Veganism on its own merits, to everyone, then we get somewhere. 

Theres been yet more focus on Hens kept in cages, here are a few recent news clips.


Hell no its not the best we can do, its about the WORST choice we could make. 

New Zealand Animal Rights group SAFE, who focus on Animal Welfare reforms sent out information to me recently.  Inside, it mentions "Colony cages".  See, "The Egg Farmers" are apparently saying its between so call "Battery cages", where you keep your Double A's and Lithium Polymers, and "Colony Cages", which are pretty much the same thing, they look basically identical to me, although technically Colony cages are larger, will most likely have MORE hens stuffed inside, and offer such "enriched features" as a quote "scratchpad", I'm imagining a bit of sandpaper stuck to the metal floor with glue made from animal corpses,  a "nestbox", and "perch", which seems to be a horizontal pole.  Terrific stuff, right?


That expert is nuts, these animals, who are referred to as "it", apparently only need to move every now and then?  And we can reliably rely on every other Hen moving to one side of the cage, cramming themselves to one side, so one by one, the remaining Hen can stretch her left leg, then shake her right leg, and flap each wing three times, before turning her long neck right around?  Cmon, this is HORRIBLE!


Lets tell the truth, all Hens, all live quote "stock" are killed, when WE decide THEY are "worthless" for our ends and means.  My last episode mentioned whole SHEDS of those so called "Free Range Hens" being slaughtered, hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of birds, natures finest mothers, killed because they are not painfully laying as many eggs as they had before, OR, in the anecdotal case mentioned last episode, because there was a "glut on the Free Range Egg market", ha, so we're to campaign for "Free Range Eggs", which are "Cage Free", if a shed packed so tight you cant move doesn't count as a "cage", we want MORE lovely little Hens submitted to this damn torture, and yet those involved claim theres already TOO MUCH of it going on?  They cant they keep their profit margins as high if there are too much supply, gotta keep the resource scarce?

Lets move away from treating other animals as things, as our property.

SAFE say they are against ALL cages, including these new "more humane" colony cages.  I think SAFEs comment on colony cages is interesting.

"Reading from the information sent out by SAFE's "Colony Cages are not an option!

Colony cages (also referred to as enriched cages) provide largely illusory improvements for the hens.  SAFE campaign director Eliot Pryor says "The Egg Producers Federation is maintaining that colony cages are better, which is true, but only if you compare these proposed cages with battery cages.  Both cage systems are inherently cruel by design."

X is better, only if you compare it to Y, where have we heard that before?  Both are quote "inherently cruel by design".  Factory Farming is awful.  Free Range is awful.  Killing other animals is awful.  Killing our friends is awful.

"SAFE argues that colony cages, similar to existing cages, are in breach of the Animal Welfare Act as they deny the hens the opportunity to express their normal patterns of behavior.  As a result, SAFE continues to call for a ban on all cages and is urging every New Zealander to take a stand against cruelty to hens".

"The average New Zealander consumes around 230 eggs annually, of which eight eight, I think thats eighty eight per cent are cage eggs, with the rest being free range or barn eggs."

"Despite the six week submission process, the most meaningful action each New Zealander can take is to make a conscious effort to not buy cage eggs.  It will cost more, but is a cheap egg really worth the cost of animal cruelty?" says Eliot."

So eighty eight percent, almost 9 out of 10 are the "evil" "factory farm", "Battery cage" kind.  The other 12 percent are "barn eggs", which can mean anything, and "free range", again, who knows what that means, and even what proportion of that remaining 12 percent is what.  Lets say "battery eggs" are twenty whippings a day per slave, "barn eggs" are 19, and the magical "free range" is 18 whippings for each innocent slave.  "Free Range" might be a one percent of that remaining 12, maybe 1 percent of all Chickens eggs we take from Hens and sell for profit are "18 lashes a day", it was unspecified in the statistics breakdown, and I don't think its worth spending our time and money on. 

I know Chickens, I look after, pat and hug many each and every day.  I've known these Hens since before they were born, I brought their mother clean water and chickweed, its legal in New Zealand, each and every day while she kept those eggs safe.  I like them, and they like me, you could say we're best friends, like friends should be.

What right thinking Hen would ask me to dress up in a costume and beg her oppressors to whip her 18 times a day, down from 19 or 20?  And thats if she's lucky enough to be in the quote "humanely treated" stock, producing a perhaps single digit percent of the eggs New Zealanders take from Hens.

Its not hard to show respect and love for other animals, in the case of Chicken Friends, the difference between "Fried Chicken" and "Chicken Friend" is a single letter, N, bam, see, I typed one just then, from "Fried" to "Friend" in less than a second.  If we really want to get serious, ok, now I've turned on Caps Lock, CAPITAL N, CAPITAL N, CAPITAL N.  Some 49 Billion Chickens killed each year you say, Ms 2007 FAO statistics?  Ok, selecting all those nice big Capital N's, copy, …..paste, paste, paste, now I'm selecting ALL the N's again, copy,….. paste, paste, paste…

With a thousand Vegans Command + V-ing on their Macs all day, we'll have a widespread outbreak of Veganism before next Tuesday.  Either that or a serious excuse to buy more RAM.

I really think we should be promoting Veganism as easy, because it is, Veganism as the LEAST these Chickens, and Pigs, and Cows, and Ducks, and Soylent Green animals deserve.

One of my favourite Americano Televisual shows to download through Bit Torrent, ahem, I mean, uh, sit through all the ads of old episodes as shown on NZ channels, and then obediently shell out cash for each season on Blu Ray is The Big Bang Theory.

Heres a few clips from the pilot episode.


Heres a great way to make new friends

I love the theme song, sing along if you know the words

<3 theme song>

Much better than the version where the whole planet and the rocks that orbit it were cooked up in a few days.


Aha, another example of "Vegetarian" meaning anything, well, I suppose you could say "Hey Jordan, at least Penny was clear that she was Vegetarian except for the times when she wasn't…"

I know people can get defensive if you "beat them up" for being "well, kinda Vegetarian" but not Vegan like your high and mighty self.  By being polite and listening to what others say, we can still promote Veganism as a clear ethical lifestyle, of not hurting or killing other animals at all, whenever we can avoid harming anyone else, because they are our friends.

Now, after having found a totally fitting way to segue into this embarrassing topic, you know how the only disgusting thing that Vegans often eat are mushrooms?  Yeah, well theres apparently no limit to the uncommonly consumed things Non Vegans will do for a dare.  Warning, this is extremely disgusting, even for a "Wild Foods Festival", where people go to eat offal and sex organs of other animals.  This was good enough for my Glorious Island Nations largest news show to cover in a primetime slot, its probably just good enough for my little podcast.

By the way, huhu grubs are beetle larva, they look kind of like maggots, and are said to taste like "peanut butter", I've been told.  When you go into the New Zealand bush, its a common thing for them to at least be JOKED about, perhaps the wacky hairy guy in shorts leading the youngsters for the bushwalk will eat a few to gross the children out.

This is a really disgusting clip.

Disgusting right?  But really, whats so different between that and eating a female Hens eggs, her sex cells?  Or drinking breast milk?  Or of killing someone because you like the way their muscles taste?  Anyway, lets get the hell away from that clip, basically, mushrooms aside, Vegan food is great, Non Vegan food is disgusting, its just a matter of growing up around some "Non Vegan" items, and seeing them eaten three times a day, and not previously being aware of others, until you are physically sick from listening to some idiots podcast.  Sorry guys, if you felt ill, just sue the makers of this show, the Auckland Abolitionist Vegans Association.  Thats , sue them for all they're worth.

Vegan food is great, having had 19 years experience of being Non Vegan, and a few years of Veganism, I can honestly say which I prefer.  Veganism.  And I know which way my Chicken Friends would vote, they'd want us not to hurt or kill them, they wouldn't ask to be killed in X way, or to be kept in a cage so many centimetres square.  They don't want to be killed.  They like living, they like each other, their friends, and five plus hugs a day, it keeps the vivisector away.

Ranking among my proudest achievements, I was given the title of "No Agenda Vegan in Residence", being a Vegan who donated to the No Agenda show every now and then.  With half a million listeners, many just as crackpotty/buzzkillular as myself, its a great community, to show that not ALL Vegans believe the world is NOT controlled by a bunch of reptilian shapeshifters elites, who run everything, from rigging oscar night, to holding back the electric car.

Encore, in German! 

Marvelous, the German version apparently mentions Michael Jackson?  And as for the English version, I never knew it was quote "robbing CAVE FISH of their sight", I dunno what I thought it was when I was little, growing up with The Simpsons, Cave Fish, how was a young New Zealander meant to understand that part of the jingle?  I remember it as being about blinding Amish, a little like MJ's "Liberian Girl", an attractive female from the nation of Liberia, as being "Librarian Girl".

Ah the folly of youth, eh?

Well, every now and then I'd send in an email to Adam and John, hosts of No Agenda, and make a donation to support my favourite podcast.  Um, unless Roger Yates is listening, then, uh, hi Roger!  I love Onhuman Nonhuman Relations… or Elizabeth, Boy Elizabeth, NZ Vegan Podcast sure is my favourite show…

At first they were very negative about Veganism

And then I started donating and emailing them news clips.

Speaking on behalf of all the Vegans who love No Agenda, we certainly shouldn't give two hoots how you kill our friends, we don't think its right to kill someone, whether you've grown up exploiting them or not.

All thats lead up to the latest mention, where I sent in a donation and note, letting all the listeners from New Zealand, or Gitmo Nation "kiwi", I prefer Gitmo Nation Vegan know that my thought were with them, and that I hoped they were ok after the Christchurch earthquake.  Of course, Dvorak didn't read the note fully, and so that part got dropped.  And it was so important too, because one persons thoughts can really make a difference you know! 

Notice all the geocaching terms too:

Its great to hear Dvorak, the crank, the buzzkill, who used to slam Vegans actually say that many Vegetables, meals made without the flesh of another animal can, and ARE tasty.  Its progress!  I've picked something I enjoy, the No Agenda show, and I send in stories to do with Veganism every now and then.  If they decide to talk about them, with the half million people around Gitmo Nation listening, great!  And if not, it doesn't cost me anything.  Progress being made, each friendly mention of Veganism, from someone else interested in the other topics discussed, I think its great to pick diverse hobbies, and without being aggressive about it, "you must be Vegan or else you'll burn for eternity", if people like and respect you for who you are, and THEN find out you're Vegan, its a great thing.  At the very least, they've met a Vegan person, and they weren't all crazy, taking their clothes off, "for the animals" you know, and they weren't talking about "the right way to kill others".

I've never seen GE soybeans, or hell, any product sold in New Zealand.  All the soy I buy is GE free, its not like I search for it either, and prance about with my reusable canvas NZ Vegan Podcast bag from Zazzle, having parked the Prius over two disabled parking spots, looking through Whole Foods for the, Free Range, 5 welfare stars "organic" soymilk!  It just seems to be all GE Free in New Zealand.  I do read product labels, always have, its interesting to know how things are made, the only time I've seen labelled GE products was on an imported can of chilli, from America.  I made sure to keep the thing, unopened, as a conversation starter, asking visitors what they think would happen were we to eat the corn inside.  Would we trade in our Japanese hybrids for an American "truck", devolved from its military origins, that got a single of those "miles" to a few of those "gallons"?  Would I start petitioning "congress", or Parliament, to ease up on restrictions on the sale of land mines and sniper rifles, so that any ten year old citizen could buy a few at the two dollar shop?  Or to extend the moat keeping Australian illegal immigrants out?  Build a laser death ray satellite?

Who knows, I'm too scared to open the can.

By the politely speaking about Veganism, of wearing "I'm Vegan and I love you" badges on your overalls, carrying NZ Vegan podcast bags bought from Zazzle, and always carrying Animal Rights and Rescue of North Texas business cards with you, as you go about your daily life on the other side of this ol' rock from Texas, we are making a difference, we are promote Veganism, and more people are deciding to be Vegan.

We don't need to roll up in a tank, with our riot gear on and turn our water cannons on people to make a message, each rain drop has its effect.  Each small action has its effect, no matter how minor it may seem at the time.

< Randy

"Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before." ~ Jacob A. Riis" >

Powerful stuff, right?

If we can campaign nationally, saying about how the vast majority of New Zealand don't like videos of screaming birds in cages taken in the dead of night, yet these same people buy the eggs from those exact farms, when they seem to come from the nice supermarket shelves with the pretty music playing and the florescent lights flickering, without wondering when the hell we're going to move to all LED  efficient lighting…

Knowing that, from our own quoted figures, some 88 percent of the eggs New Zealanders take from Hens, and eat each year are "evil factory farming" eggs, how come we can protest and spend millions and decades of our time against something that the vast majority participate in, with 88 percent of all eggs bought from "factory farms", why cant we campaign for Veganism, when 99 percent of the population engage in Non Veganism?  Except for Auckland though ,where it seems every bloody person is Vegan, and theres a Vegan restaurant on every corner, a vegan cupcake being handed out in every Aotea Square.  88 percent bought, 99 percent not currently Vegan, whats the real difference?  11 percentage points?  Is that a lot?  I supposedly give more than 11 hugs a day to my Chicken Friends, and I sure as hell am quick to turn on Caps Lock and hit N, to turn "fried Chicken" into Chicken Friend", whats 11 more capital N's?

I'm proud to have so many great friends, who promote Veganism all around the world.  I know as each day I put on my "Its easy to be Vegan" shirt made by Emmy James, and my overalls with the "I'm Vegan and I love you" badges, and my NZ Vegan Podcast and Coexisting With Nonhuman Animals bags, and my Auckland Abolitionist Vegans Association and Animal Rights and Rescue of North Texas business cards, I'm not the only one out there chipping away, by promoting Veganism.

Andy could have swung that rock hammer into the skull of someone who upset him, but then what?  Why, he'd be forced into more time at The Shank, probably in solitary confinement, and nothing would really change, except more violence in the world.

By instead using our strength nonviolently, we can make real progress, through any wall.  AND, when promoting Veganism, we DONT have to crawl through a sewage pipe, filled with human animal crap.

And being opposed to all -ism's, apart from Atheism and Apple-ism and Jobs-ism and i-ism, and liking to create our own little orga-isms, we don't have to hide our work behind soft core porn posters either.  We can promote Veganism, from Texas, to Auckland, to Invercargill, with a stop in the London suburb of Ireland in between.  Oh, and don't forget Zihuatanejo too.

Thank you for listening to Coexisting With Nonhuman Animals.

You can find the script for this episode, as well as downloads for every episode of Coexisting With Nonhuman Animals at coexisting with nonhuman animals .

If you want to contact me, even just to say you listened, send an email to, or on Twitter, j a y w o n t d a r t,  I'd appreciate it.

Thank you for listening.


RANDY SANDBERG'S "Quotes on Slavery"

latest Hen protest

Big Bang Theory pilot

wild food festival, stallion… shots

Zihuatanejo (Mexican city mentioned in The Shawshank Redemption)

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